Seasonal Affective Disorder and PPD

katekripke — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 06:35:16 +0000

Do you find that the winter months feel harder than ever? If so, come and visit me at Postpartum Progress.

Come and Tell Your Story

katekripke — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 00:16:20 +0000

Do you have a story to tell? Are you a Mom who has suffered postpartum and recovered? Are you a mom who is struggling right now? Are you someone who knows a mom who has struggled or are you someone who works with Moms?

We have tried this before, and I am trying it again- If you have a story to tell, please come and join us here. There are so many moms who read this blog who feel alone and misunderstood and who might benefit from you and your journey. Feel free to reply to this post and tell your story here, or email me separately and we can talk about sharing your story in your very own post like Jillian did, back in November.

We welcome you.

Postpartum Depression Takes a Step Up

katekripke — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 22:27:53 +0000

There was a time, not so long ago, when people did not assume Tom Cruise and his “there is no such thing as postpartum depression” rant was not so crazy. We still have mountains to climb in increasing awareness about Postpartum Mood and Anxiety Disorders, training appropriate medical providers on risk factors, early warning signs, and effective treatment, and lowering the stigma of these illnesses. But we are making progress.

And this fabulous program at the University of Carolina is one of the many steps in the right direction. Watch the NBC story and video here. Three big, fat cheers for that!

Signing off for the holidays

katekripke — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 21:49:00 +0000

I will, most likely, be signed off from all of you until early January. Please know that I will be thinking of you all throughout this holiday season…. The holidays are certainly filled with many moments of joy and wonder, and they can also be extremely difficult for those moms and families who are suffering. If you have positive energy to spare, please send it out to those who may need it most- Moms, dads, babies, children family members, colleagues, friends, neighbors….. there is an army of women out there and they may need ammunition this holiday season.

Happy Hanukkah, Happy Solstice, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year….

Until soon-

An Explanation of Suicidal Thinking in “Plain Mama English”

katekripke — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 04:12:41 +0000

A reader at Postpartum Progress asked the following question:

What is considered a “suicidal” thought, ideation or gesture? I remember being asked by my physician if I was having suicidal thoughts and I honestly didn’t know if I should say yes or no. I wasn’t making plans in my head on killing myself when I was in the deepest of depression, but I was having fleeting weird thoughts about things like “what would it be like to throw myself down the stairs?” and “my family would be so much better off without me here because I cause them so much stress”, etc. There were many days that I know I just kept holding on because my baby needed me and loved me and I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving him. But was this considered being suicidal? I honestly still don’t know. When you look up “suicidal thoughts” on medical websites, there’s no plain mama English description on what this could be, it is focused on the emergent and description of planning and/or acting on these plans to try to kill yourself. I figure other moms out there may be just as clueless as I am and it could be useful to have a plain mama description of this so we know if we should say yes or no to that scary question from our doc.

I answered this question in my most recent post over there, so come on over if this questions makes you wonder!

Having a Baby after Infant Loss- The Complicated Mix of Grief and Joy

katekripke — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 16:48:11 +0000

Loosing a baby at any point is, undoubtedly, one of the more traumatic experiences a parent can endure. Giving birth to a baby following such a loss is, for many women, a very complicated experience- marked by both great joy and also deep grief. If you are one such parent, come and spend some time with us at Postpartum Progress.

Grieving the Losses and Postpartum Depression Recovery

katekripke — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 03:42:45 +0000

If only postpartum mood disorders like PPD were as simple as managing symptoms. But of course, the symptoms related to these illnesses- the sadness, tearfulness, overwhelm, intense anxiety, isolation, feelings of hopelessness, irritability etc. are only part of the issue, aren’t they? Along with these very challenging and often unexpected symptoms comes the double whammy of needing to work through the multitude of losses that accompany PMADs: the loss of self and identity, freedom and independence, energy and sleep, relationships as you know them, expectation and hopes, and for many- innocence as becoming a parent may be the very first time that a new mom actually feels like a grown-up. For women who have also lost a baby during pregnancy or postpartum or for those women who have experienced deep loss preceding their transition to motherhood, these issues of loss are further complicated. But most women who suffer with a PMAD are dealing with very real losses during this postpartum period. Often, getting through the tangle of symptoms is only a very first step in recovery, and it is the work around grief and loss that require a mom’s most committed attention.

In her book, Therapy and the Postpartum Woman, Karen Kleiman suggests that women who seek out therapy support during the postpartum period have experienced a “trauma to the soul.” Anyone who has struggled through a postpartum mood or anxiety disorder will know, to some degree, what she means by this. Traumas can be defined as ‘events that cause great distress and disruption’ and, if becoming a mother does just that and leaves a women yearning for the parts of herself and her “old life” that are suddenly left behind, her soul can feel as empty as if she has lost something irreplaceable and undeniably valuable to her. I mean, that mom has lost something. Big.

So, how does someone muddle through this very understandable process of grief? While the answer to this varies depending on the particular woman and her own needs with regards to healing, most will go through a series of stages that Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler identified: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Often, these 5 stages of grief are thought to accompany grief around loss of life. But many, many women who struggle through a PMAD find themselves traveling between these stages as they work to grieve the losses associated with the recent “trauma to their souls.”

Let me explain this with some examples.

1. The loss of self and identity

Denial: I am the same person as I was before I had a baby. I am making too big of a deal about this. I need to just get back to life as normal

Anger: What is wrong with me?! Where did I go?! Why can’t I just manage things as I used to?! I should have never had a baby!

Bargaining: Maybe if I just try a little harder I will get back to how I was before I had the baby. Maybe if I just pray, then I will find my familiar self.

Depression: I am going to feel like this forever. My life is over and I will never be happy again.

Acceptance: Maybe there are parts of me still here, and maybe there are also new pieces of myself that I never knew existed before. Maybe I can decide what kind of mom I want to be without all of the “shoulds” from everyone else. I actually like these parts of myself.

2. The loss of expectation:

Denial: I am happy, I am happy, I am happy, I am happy.

Anger: Why me? Why can’t I be content and happy like everyone else? What did I do to deserve this?

Bargaining: Maybe if I just really stick to this Attachment Parenting practice, I will begin to like it. Maybe if I just breast feed for one more week, I will feel more like a Mom. Maybe if I just do what my own mom says I should do, it will get easier.

Depression: This. Is. Not. Working. I will feel this way forever. I am a total failure.

Acceptance: Okay, so my expectations around new motherhood were unrealistic. Maybe I actually get to have some say in what this looks like for me. Maybe I don’t have to follow everyone else’s advice and maybe I can have an experience that works for me, even if it is not what I had expected.

3. The loss of “what was” in relationship

Denial: Oh, we are not any different. We are just tired. When we are rested things will be like they always were.

Anger: He/She doesn’t understand me! Why can’t he/she just get what I am going though? Why does he/she expect me to want to have sex all the time? His/her life hasn’t even changed! This is all his/her fault!

Bargaining: Maybe if I just act as though I am fine, he/she will have confidence in me again. Maybe if I just make myself look prettier, cook more dinners, pretend to smile more, he/she will like being married/partnered to me again.

Depression: We will never work. Our marriage/partnership will fail. No one will want to be with me because I am sick, sad, unhappy, and incapable.

Acceptance: Okay, other couples go through this. We are not alone. He/she simply does not understand what I am struggling with and he/she is scared, like me. We are learning new things about each other and they are not all bad. We can do this. Together.

Ring some bells?

So, this post goes out to all of you who have become moms and, suddenly and unexpectedly, feel that you have lost something. That you are grieving what was. Your work around grieving and then processing these losses are real, and you are not alone. While we know that the 5 stages of grief are not linear (meaning that the stages can come and go in no particular order), they are all valuable and a part of the process. And resolution comes with allowing yourself to experience each one as it knocks on your door. Even with the gift of a baby can come some very real feelings of loss. And that is okay.

Love in the Time of postpartum Depression

katekripke — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 18:44:23 +0000

Are you someone who does not love early motherhood? do you wonder if this is okay? Do you judge yourself for not being happy at a time when everyone expects you to be and do you worry that others will think that if you don’t love early mom-hood that you must not love your baby? If so, come visit me at Postpartum Progress. We are breaking this all down.

Thankful

katekripke — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 03:35:34 +0000

Is it possible to be thankful for Postpartum Depression?

It’s been a week of giving thanks. It’s simply what we try our best to do this time of year. We give thanks for life. For our families. For our homes and our jobs and our community. We give thanks for so much of what enables us to be well and to be happy. But Postpartum Depression? Suffering? Struggle? Who wants to give thanks for that?

Well, here’s the thing: Struggling through a postpartum mood or anxiety disorder like PPD is actually a gift. No, really. I know that this may be hard to relate to now- if you are someone who is currently swimming up water- but once you are on the other side you will join many, many other women who feel stronger for what they have endured. When you really hit bottom- when you really struggle to the point of wondering how, on earth, you will ever see yourself again, you have an opportunity to decide who you want to be. As you begin to get well, you get to make choices: What kind of mom to I want to be? What do I want my life to look like? What do I need to feel my best and how can I make that happen? How can I tolerate distress in my life and how can I best regulate the emotion that I feel? How can I take care of myself to be well and happy?

And, perhaps most rewarding of all: What, in all of this learning, can I teach my children?

It really sucks when you are right smack in the middle of it. I know. And, you may be someone who has suffered before and struggles again. But, my friends, you will have so much to give to so many others following behind you. And that is a gift.

So…. all of that hard work: the need to look back at your past experiences if they are intruding on your ability to be present; the efforts around keeping your marriage and partnerships in tact and to communicate your truth; the strategies developed around sleep and exercise and nutrition; the reminders to breathe; the developed community; the identity shifting; the changing of negative thought patterns; the empathy for your self; the re-setting of expectations and priorities and myths…. Is it possible to be thankful for the opportunity to become mindful of these things?

If you are someone who is or has struggled, I would love to hear from you. What are you thankful for?

Peronality and PPD

katekripke — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 03:40:57 +0000

Is there a specific personality type that may lead women towards an episode of PPD/PPA? Come join me in the conversation at Postpartum Progress.